Q. Why do women have breasts?

A. So men will talk to them.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

A: A women who won't do what she's told.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighbourhood, so for public safety, he was committed.
He was put in a room with another crazy, and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"
The other guy looked at him and declared, "I did not!"

A pretty young lady named Nancy just broke off her engagement to a young doctor.
" Do you mean to tell me," exclaimed her friend, "that he actually asked you to return all the presents?"
Nancy: "Not only that, but he also sent me a bill for house calls."